To the pleasant couple going to San Francisco by way of Detroit: I am sure I have no idea what I was going to post here that was important enough to warrant your writing down the address. It is quite likely it wasn't really important at all. I'm sorry if you remember what it was and are disappointed. In that case, you may email 'gaspar' care of the present domain. Thank you for the chess game.
To all the fans who stuck by me through that sine-wave and choral-drone period: thanks for helping me feed the monkey.
To my mother, who has the good sense not to bother herself about this stagnant and uninspiring site: I'm sorry I continue to be an unconscionable asshole. There's no end in sight. You have been very patient. You remember the high-density storage in that little kitchen in Orangeville? I dreamed about that last night. I'm sorry I sat in your closet and stuck your feminine napkins to the inside of the door. Happy Mother's Day.
It has come to my attention that Mother's Day is in fact the second Sunday in May. I apologize for any confusion my error may have caused. Every day is a good day to tell your mother you love her, yes?To all you filthy leeches: there's finally some new loot in the bag. I don't want to hear your opinions on my taste. Leech and remain silent.
To the greasy English girl who bought me a drink and kissed me on the mouth the other night: I think you mistook me for someone who likes coke in his whisky. He's probably taller than I am, too. I'm sorry I couldn't manage to convince you of that at the time.
To the Taiwanese electorate: well, here's another fine mess. Two forward, one back; the man blusters and removes his belt; the lady turns and returns; it's the I'm-just-spending-the-night-at-my-sister's-place foxtrot. Election in C minor for Unaccompanied Island. You have made the smart move; barely. A shame about the referendum, though. Now would have been a good time, before those new destroyers come into service. Remind me not to stick around for the finale in 2007.
To Pat and Babs, and Rowan and 'girlfriend': godspeed. Try not to break any Mat Monsters' backs. I'm sorry this page does not really contain any immolations or oblations, even figurative ones. I will make an effort to be more precise in future.
To Adam Gunn, late of Korea and currently somewhere in Thailand: I'm sorry I didn't come to see you. If you can manage to stay still for a little while I'll see what I can arrange. Please rock hard; you have to make up for me. I'm ashamed to report that my rock factor is low and dropping steadily. Does chronic marginal lateness count as risk-taking?